dr. oetker makes better flammkuchen than i

That’s right. Something that comes out of a freezer then out of a cardboard box then out of plastic wrap tastes better than something that I made from scratch with my bare hands.

Flammkuchen, aka tarte flambée for the French-inclined among us, is a very thin pizza-like crust spread thick with creme fraiche, sweet onions and chopped up bacon. It comes from Alsace and is likewise claimed by both the French and the Germans (hell yeah bit of history right there). It’s delicious and perfect with a few glasses of wine or a beer.

I thought I’d try my hand at it. After all, how can something that requires so few ingredients be screwed up? Famous last words, because Flammkuchen contains my kryptonite: CRUST. I can’t make edible crust to save my life. It always ends up being chewy and doughy and layered. Maybe I use too little fat. I also forgot (as always) to blind bake my first one this time.

Two other things that I didn’t use that I should’ve:

1) Bacon – it really needs the fat, even though you’ve just slathered 200g of cream on top. No seriously, it needs something smoky to justify the liberal drizzle of honey that makes it per-fekt…

2) Creme fraiche – I thought I’d go all-out German and use quark (yoghurt meets sour cream with a bit of cottage cheese). I got quark with 20% fat, and it just wasn’t creamy enough and dried out in the oven.

There were leftovers, so I think I’ll chop up some garlic tomorrow, grate some cheese, turn on the oven and make me some cheesy-garlic-flammkuchen.


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